Will you be my ninja bride?
by Mitsu Karaga
Summary: Naruto has to get married by his eighteenth birthday but who will he choose to be his wife? It's basically the Naruto clashing with how I met your mother and definitely maybe.


It was a quiet night and a blonde man of forty was around a fire with his beautiful wife and his adorable kids, they we're laughing and telling stories about what happened in their day. It was one of those moments that you just wanted to last forever and forget about all your worries; he looked at his son Ryoki and his daughter Ryoko they we're both twelve and at that stage of life where they we're curious about their parents lives before they we're around. Ryoko lifted her head and pushed her blonde locks out of her face then smiled.

"Dad tell us a story please" pleaded Ryoki

"Yeah dad tell us a love story" enthused Ryoko

"I don't want to hear about that sappy bullshit" whined Ryoki.

"Okay my little munchkins I'll tell you the story of how I met your mother" said Naruto.

Before you we're born I Naruto Uzumaki and on my seventeenth birthday had a life changing event; and my story begins on a nice sunny day in are town of Konoha.

…

Naruto was in Ichiraku ramen when Lee came running down the streets of Konoha yelling for Naruto, Lee's face was absolutely brimming with a smile and excitement. Once Naruto finished his miso ramen with pork and extra fish cakes he followed Lee to the Hokage's office, where the Hokage told him all about how some academy students we're playing a treasure hunting game and how they came upon an old document. Apparently the document had the special seal of the fourth Hokage and his wife, this document contained they're wishes for they're son and what should happen to him. It was then that Naruto found out that he had to get married to a ninja by his eighteenth birthday or lose out on all his birth rights, but of course as always the number one hyperactive knuckle headed ninja never gave up or lost hope.

...

Naruto was in the Hokage's office with Shizune going over the protocol for this situation; Shizune had said that Naruto should have a few dates with the kunoichi in the village. Naruto had hated the idea at first then seeing it was his easiest option he agreed to it, unfortunately what Naruto hadn't anticipated was Shizune going crazy and forcing him to wear whatever she picked out and other such meddlesome things. Shizune had arranged everything including his dates and she was currently escorting Naruto to pick up his first date, they rounded the corner to end up at Yamanaka flower shop and Shizune explained to Naruto how Ino was to be his first date. Naruto walked into the flower shop where he was over come with a variety of smells, Ino looked up from her counter to see Naruto in a pair of dark grey jeans and a red button up shirt. Ino took off her apron and rushed over to Naruto and hugged him then she went out the back to get changed, when Ino came out she was dressed in a purple mini dress with a silver necklace with a round pink diamond encased in a pendant. They walked around a few blocks to a little cafe called starlight, once inside they sat at a table in the back. Ino ordered a small salad and a glass of water while Naruto ordered a pasta dish and a beer, Ino flirtatiously flicked her hair in an attempt to get Naruto's attention but Naruto didn't much notice and kept texting Sasuke. Naruto was telling the teme how crap the new waiter was and how Ino's dress was so short she might as well have not worn it.

"You know I've always had a soft spot for you I mean you are nice and you are absolutely gorgeous but you're still no Sasuke" said Ino.

"That's nice" replied Naruto.

"You know I just saw a cool documentary on the origin of ramen the other day" chirped Ino.

"Oh yeah that was awesome the teme and I watched it too, you know what the best ramen is miso with pork and extra fish cakes" roared Naruto.

"Yeah it's awesome" chimed Ino.

...

"The dobe is on a date with Ino how tragic she must be forcing him to say how beautiful she is by now" teased Sasuke.

"Oh yes the whole forced marriage thing" chimed Neji.

"Maybe one of us should dress up as a girl and then at the end of the date the rest of us come out of the bushes with cameras" suggested Kiba.

"He wouldn't fall for that" stated Shikamaru.

"This is the guy who has regularly mistaken girls for boys and thought those Guy and Lee impostors we're the real thing" mentioned Choji.

"I'll go and ask Naruto for his sexy jutsu then I'll transform for the fake date" said Neji.

"You just want an excuse to be in a dress" teased Sasuke.

"No matter what we cannot tell Shino or Lee about this" stated Kiba.

"Why not?" asked Choji.

"Shino and Lee don't take to pranks and would tell Naruto about it" answered Kiba.

"But Naruto wouldn't believe them" chirped Sasuke.

...

Naruto and Ino we're now having a peaceful picnic out in the fields, they we're lying down on a blanket talking about the flowers surrounding them. Naruto was fascinated with Ino's knowledge on flowers, he was glad to talk to someone who was knowledgeable on a subject that didn't make any one who knew and talked about it a douche bag. Naruto was having a really good time and wanted to continue this form of relationship with Ino but first he had too have a first date with all the other women on the list, Ino turned over to him and smiled then moved forward and kissed him. Naruto held onto the kiss for as long as he could then grasped Ino's waist, Naruto moved so he was on top of Ino while kissing her and Ino ran one hand down his back and the other through his hair. Naruto started to grin so much he couldn't hold on to the kiss and once his lips left Ino's he couldn't stop giggling and neither could she, they both got up and packed the picnic blanket and food then walked hand in hand back to Ino's.

...

"What you can't be serious" yelled Naruto.

"I am serious Naruto after all you have to be married by your eighteenth birthday Naruto" roared Tsunade.

"But seriously your going to make me go on dates with Anko sensei, Kurenai sensei and Shizune sensei" whined Naruto.

"You'll do as your told Naruto and you will not fight me on this either, know back to business" boomed Tsunade.

Naruto couldn't believe it he had to go on a date with Kurenai sensei, Naruto was definitely not into women that much older than him. How humiliating it would be to be on a date with Kurenai especially since Kurenai would be judging what he eats the whole time it was a trait Naruto found annoying and he didn't even want to get started on Anko, he tried to find a bright side but couldn't it just seemed to be impossible in this situation. Naruto got up from the floor and took the sheet of names from Shizune then walked out of Tsunade's office, as he walked down the halls of the ever so simple mansion he tripped on something some of the other Jonin's we're moving and ended up falling off the side of the mansion's stairs and hit the ground below. Once he woke up Naruto looked at the sheet and saw seven names on the sheet, Naruto thought that he should go visit Sasuke and see if he had any ideas. Naruto ran as fast as he could to Sasuke's house it was of the utmost importance, who else would help him if not Sasuke.

…

"Wait why was great grandma Tsunade so mean?" asked Ryoki.

"Because it was her job to be" answered the father.

"That is not a reason to be mean" whined Ryoko.

"Your right but that didn't stop her from being that way" mused the mother.

"It's getting late you two should go to bed" mentioned Naruto.

"But we want to hear the rest of the story" complained Ryoki.

"Your father will continue the story tomorrow now off to bed with the both of you" commanded the mother.

The twins marched off to their bedrooms and waited for their parents to tuck them in, each received a kiss on the forehead and a loving good night.

It was the next morning and the twins we're right awake and bugging their father to finish the rest of the story, after they finished breakfast he picked up we're they left off in the story.

…

"Sasuke what am I going to do?" asked Naruto.

"What do you mean it's not a situation?" replied Sasuke.

"Sasuke it's still a forced marriage and what if I pick the wrong girl?" whined Naruto.

"Relax dobe I have a plan" said Sasuke.

"Yeah Hanabi you know Hinata's little sister already told me that Neji was going to dress up as a girl and you guys would pop out with camera's and take picture at the end of the date" chimed Naruto.

"How did she find out?" questioned Sasuke.

"Hanabi was in the area when she heard you guys and because I have decided to be nice to any one I meet unlike you she told me about it believe it" answered Naruto.

"You say believe it one more time and I will demolish you" angered Sasuke.

"Fine but I think I should go along with it and see how far Neji would go" chirped Naruto.

"That sounds like an excellent idea Naruto" chimed Sasuke.

…

Naruto was in the village hidden in the sand on some stupid mission that Tsunade wouldn't even tell him the details for; Naruto was looking around the village for some ramen but didn't find any. He thought how could a village function without ramen? It was baffling the young Jonin from the village hidden in the leaves. Naruto then headed off towards the Kazekage's mansion, he knew Gaara would be able to shed some light on this little escapade Tsunade made him go on. Once at the Kazekage's mansion he ran towards Gaara's office but once in the office he only found Temari.

"Hey Temari where is Gaara?" asked Naruto.

"Why would you want to know that?" replied Temari.

Then it hit Naruto Temari was one of the names on the list and Tsunade had set this up and what better couple than a daughter of a Kazekage and the son of the greatest Hokage, it would form an extremely powerful alliance with the hidden leaf village and the hidden sand village how touching of Tsunade not to fill him in.

"Oh no reason for now that is" whispered Naruto.

"I'm just so excited for our date in a few days time" enthused Temari.

Temari ran over to Naruto grabbed his shirt and moved him forward so their lips met, at first Naruto was startled by this then he blushed and Temari let go of the kiss and left the room. Naruto stood there shocked and searched through his bag which was packed by Tsunade herself, Naruto had never seen someone so enthusiastic about packing before. Naruto searched vigorously for his sage cape, it was at the bottom with a bunch of what looked like perfume. Tsunade must have bought it and packed it in his bag, it was just one thing after another with that woman. Naruto found his cape and put it on, the windy air of Sunagakure called for it on a windy day like this. Naruto ran out of the room and after Temari hopefully she would know something about the Hokage's plans for him, Naruto in a truly epic Naruto moment chased Temari where she was standing next to her brother Gaara who was giving a speech to a large public. While running over to her Naruto tripped and his pants got caught on his shoes and of course Naruto didn't wear any under pants today and everybody saw his penis, of course most of the people there jaws dropped.

"Naruto I see you have a very big package for me but please save it for later" quipped Temari.

"Holy shit he's big" yelled Kankuro.

"My whole family is just one giant mind fuck" whispered Gaara.

"My bad and I'll just be leaving now" chimed Naruto.

Naruto ran back into the Kazekage mansion and pulled his pants back up; Temari entered the mansion and came right up to Naruto. Temari as equal payment for Naruto's little display took her top off then her bra off exposing herself to Naruto then she put them back on and left, Naruto's face went as red as Hinata's when she ever had physical contact with Naruto.

…

"Temari is kind of a slut" said Ryoki.

"Yeah I hope she is not mom" pestered Ryoko.

"Well lucky for me you're not my parents" quipped Naruto.

"Isn't that an insult to dead grandfather Minato and dead grandmother Kushina?" asked Ryoko.

"Your father is never wrong so don't ever question me" quivered Naruto.


End file.
